some thoughts...

I am sometimes apprehensive on what I should post & what I shouldn't post on this blog. I don't ever want to express negativity or share anything sad - as I always want this space to be a happy & inspiring place for you all to visit. But the fact of the matter is that life isn't always happy, we aren't perfect & posts like this one wont come across often, but sometimes it's necessary to vent & to share our experiences. You never know who is out there reading & who might be going through the same exact thing at this very moment.

At the beginning of this year I lost my job. The job that I moved to Portland for. While I am looking at this time as an opportunity to find something better, something that is a better fit for me, it's been rather difficult around here. I'm not used to not working. I had worked so hard to get where I was in my career & now I'm left without work. It's been difficult for me to face the reality of it all. I have always been a very hard worker & have had a strong sense of pride in what I had accomplished so far in my career, that this period of unemployment feels so foreign to me & it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like what I'm supposed to be doing. When we go out, I feel embarrassed when I tell people that I'm now unemployed. I don't know why, because it wasn't my fault I was laid off. It wasn't anything that I did. Most of the time people act weird & don't know what to say... That's when I just laugh & say something to the effect of "Oh, it's okay, I'll find something that's a better fit", or "Oh, it's not as tragic as it sounds, it's actually a blessing in disguise".

Over the past few weeks I had a few interviews with one of my #1 company in town & I recently found out that the job was offered to someone else. It was a tough blow to my confidence because I truly felt that I preformed my best during the interviews & left my interviews feeling very confident. This just means that I need to do better. I need to step up my game. It's been difficult admitting defeat, but in no way am I going to stop trying!

In no way am I looking for your sympathy, I just really needed a moment to vent, to let it all out on the table - & move on from it. If you read this whole post please know that I'm not a negative person (I swear!). I'm trying to keep my positivity & good spirits intact. I do know that a great opportunity will come along for me, let's just all cross our fingers that this happens sooner, rather than later.

While I actually have a few things in the works for the time being, it's nothing that I can solely rely on. I'm trying to use this free time to network as much as I can, to apply for as many jobs as I can (& that are obviously a good fit)... Let me tell you people, it's exhausting! But now is the most important time to be working for it as hard as I can! I know that everything will work out, eventually. I gotta keep reminding myself of this... :)



  1. Lady, that's what we're here for! Never worry about venting once in a while! No one wants to read the constant sorrows of another person, but anyone who has ever read your blog knows that that's not you. We're all human and we all have the moments where life isn't total sunshine - that's the beauty of the human condition! I know what you mean about wanting to keep the blog a happy space, but letting a little bit of "real life" in makes it all the more genuine :)

    Sending happy, hopeful thoughts & prayers your way for that wonderful new door to open (and it will!) - until then, I bet there's a puppy who doesn't mind having mama home to play with!

  2. holly- this was very brave of you to share. and TRUST me i know how you feel. it is a huge shock to be let go from a job-- esp when you are a hard worker and you know you are an asset for the team. try to stay positive and remember things do happen for a reason. things WILL get better and you WILL find another job. just dont settle with a job that you dont think will make you happy. i know at this point you might want to work somewhere- anywwhere- as long as you'd be working but since you do take a lot of pride in your work (as you should) know that you should be valued at a job. good luck with the search and keep us posted (good or bad! this is real life and your readers really DO care about YOU and your real life.) :) xoxo

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  4. Thanks for sharing, Holly. I'm right there with ya. The spa industry has been horribly slow for two years and it's been tough. Although I don't find my worth solely in my job, our work does define us in some sort of way and also gives us goals, a feeling of being productive etc.But you're right. Things DO get better and with all of your experience and college education, you're bound to find something else and will be such an asset for them! Hugs from Bend.

  5. Holly,
    Thanks for sharing this and being so open. Even though I quit my job to come out here I went through very similar emotions from not working for the first time. Things will work out - your quote is so true. My Dad lost his job in this awful economy too and has also expressed the same. I'm going to share your quote with him.. Chin up, Buttercup DAD (:

    Thank you for your words.

  6. loving your openness. i feel similar when it comes to not knowing what to share on my blog and what to keep to myself :/

  7. Sharing something like this is not easy. I know what you are going through - I was laid off in 2009 and it was really difficult. Just know that you are strong and you will succeed. and you WILL find something that will make you happy :)

  8. Oh my goodness, never apologize for venting. It's honestly refreshing when bloggers reveal their struggles...because the truth of the matter is that everyone is battling something.

    Thank you for being so humble.

  9. I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now! I'm not sure what area of work you're looking into, but I used to work at the Standard, which is based in Portland. Obviously, there are tons of other opportunities in a bigger city too...I know you'll find your next dream job...sometimes it just takes time! :)


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