Looking Back

As I go through and read the old posts on my blog it has made me realize how much I have changed and grown in the past year - year and a half. Over that time I have seen things for what they really are and have learned to appreciate people for who they truly are. I don't dwell on things that I cannot change and accept things for what they are. Those who know me well, know exactly what I am talking about (there might be two things here) and that needs no further explanation :-)

I had this phone conversation the other day with an old friend. All was going well until the near end and some things were said that shouldn't have been said. It made me realize that some people will never change and you just have to let it go. I know that I am in a better place, being the better person. It just makes me angry when someone sees how well you are doing and try to bring you down because things aren't goin well in their life. The decisions that I have made over the past year and half have been soley for me and my well being. I am not about to let someone have such force over me that forbides me from talking to my old friends and saying what I can or cannot do. My independence is far to strong for that. That is not something that I should feel bad about, it's a wonderful thing. I would rather someone love me for everything in my life than try to change everything that they do not like about me.

People back in my very small hometown ask the parents why I'm not married yet or why I don't have a boyfriend (like it's a bad thing?) Being single is not tragic. I have learned over the past few years that I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy. I've seen people stay in un-healthy relationships because they are scared to be alone, to me that is tragic. I would rather wait and find the right person than try to make it work with the wrong one. I see my friends doing this and it makes me sad.

When people see pictures of my friends and I out every weekend and ask why I am not settling down yet, I say because I am too young. This baffles people from my hometown (and what I'm realizing, a lot of people in general). When people start feeling sorry for me or asking why my boyfriend and I broke up and "what are you going to do now?" I say whatever the hell I want to do. I will find what makes me happy and just go with it, rock out and have the time of my life. Everything else will eventually fall into place. I am college educated, have a great career and wonderful friends on the same page as myself. I am not done doing what I am doing. I am confident with where my life is going and enjoy all of the surprises that come along with the unexpected along the way. Who knows where I'll end up... I'll just enjoy everything and see where life takes me :-)

Let me just leave you with one thing; in the words of Anandamama...
"and it's been a BLAST!" :-)